Thursday, July 20, 2017

Chapter 36: Help Me Maintain

36...I am 36. I am over the hump and now closer to 40 than 30. Though that may sound frightening to some people, I am truly embracing this part of my life journey. I am normally pretty low keyed about most things in my life. I don't require much to make me happy, at least in my opinion. Yet, when my birthday comes around, I am a bit obnoxious. I try to really celebrate me, which usually is a week long celebration of doing things that make me happy. I love my birthday. As I get older it becomes less about partying and more about reflecting and appreciating. I made it to 36. A lot of people don't. I am healthy. I have people in my circle who love me as much as I love them. I am employed, fairly gainfully. In the past few months, I lost site of these things. I let stress overcome me, and it took a toll on me physically and mentally. My friend Dee, who relocated to Orlando about 3 yrs ago, asked me what I was going to do for my birthday, and she considered coming up to Charlotte to help me celebrate. I thought about it, then I got the bright idea to go to her. I have several ties to Orlando. I went to Physical Therapy School there. It is home to the happiest place on Earth! It had been 12 years since I graduated. I had only been back once since that time, and that was the same year I graduated. I talked with my husband and told him how much I wanted to go, and found a cheap flight with Allegiant Airlines (which was pretty good, I must say), and started to plan my short exit from reality for a few days. I needed to get in a space by myself. I had lost site of some things, and sometimes it takes removing yourself from situations in order to truly evaluate them from an objective, non-emotional perspective.


My birthday celebration started on a Thursday, with me going out with some very awesome women that I run with locally. I don't think I have told them this, but running with them is truly a joy. Even if we don't do it as often as we would like, I appreciate everything they have brought to my life. Running is therapy, especially when you do it with people that fill your cup.




Friday, I went to work early and left early so I could catch my little over an hour long flight to Orlando, well Sanford to be exact, which is only about 30 minutes from Orlando, depending on where you wanna go. I rented a car because I wanted to be free to explore without interrupting anyone else's schedule, and it is rare that I get to drive without little people in the car yelling over toys or who touched who. I typically do not enjoy driving, especially in heavy traffic, but it was truly relaxing. My first stop was to my friend Dee's home. We enjoyed plenty of girl talk. We went to a cool seafood restaurant called Hot and Juicy, where I drowned myself in big, cajun boiled shrimp and sausage. I also got free birthday brownies to die for.





Saturday, after a wild and crazy night( not really), I woke my butt up and went for a 2 mile run/walk around the hood. If you have never had the pleasure of feeling Orlando Heat, let me describe it to you...it is like being in a steam room turned up to 1000 degrees. The humidity had my kinky hair shriveled up tight, and my skin was relentlessly glossy. However, it was a great run and at least made me feel less guilty about sinking my teeth into a scrumptious breakfast at Keke's in Winter Park. This breakfast was enjoyable more so for the company. My best friend Renea, my former roomie Kim, and a dear coworker who relocated to Florida last year, Cheryl, drove up to see me. I make it a point to only surround myself with good people. I have always been a good judge of character, and each of these ladies (Dee included) are jewels. I had not seen Kim since I graduated, and her beautiful daughter Adrienne greeted me with a warm hug, even though she had never met me. It was a great fellowship and my heart was beaming.


Later that Saturday, I checked into what I call a fancy hotel...the Renaissance Orlando at SeaWorld. I only budgeted one night at this hotel, which when you add 22.00/day to park and a 25.00/day resort fee, that can add up. It was worth it though! Even though there were loads of families there, kids running crazy, I was oblivious to their presence. I just soaked up the atmosphere. It is not the nicest hotel I have been in, but it is beautiful. I had a nice cozy king suite, big enough for two. My first few minutes alone in the room was spent taking a million selfies. Then I danced around shamelessly naked to my favorite birthday song by India Arie, "Private Party" before dressing to go sit by the pool. And sit is what I did. Sitting is something I rarely do given the nature of my job as a PT, and it felt sooooo good. My magazine and drink in hand, just chillin'.

Saturday night was spent at Disney Springs. Now, this place is cool if you are ballin' on a budget, without kids. I did not want to go to any theme parks without first going with my sons. But I also wanted to experience the magic and fun that is Disney. It was very crowded, but if you go you will see why. It is loaded with a million shops and themed restaurants to fit everyone's taste and budget. You can see cool displays and hear great live entertainment. I was not feeling that great that night, and as I was walking back towards the entrance and an artist by the name of Evan Taylor Jones caught my attention, with his guitar. So I sat with the crowd and listened to his John Legend inspired voice and great acoustic guitar skills. It soothed my soul and warmed my heart as I saw a few couples dancing away. That night when I returned to my room, I rolled around in that awesome king sized bed fit for a queen, and thanked God for the opportunity to be right in that place, at that time in my life.




The gratitude did not stop Sunday morning. Again I thanked the most high. I got myself ready to go down to the gym and had an awesome workout. This time I dipped my legs in the pool afterwards, read my magazine poolside,and listened to music in the blazing sun. I even got a tan! lol. Just taking it all in. Just thankful. Relaxed. Oh, how I did not want leave! I did manage to get my check out time extended with no additional charge, which gave me some time to just sit in my room and listen to music. One of the songs that came on was by this young gospel artist named Jonathan McReynolds. I like a majority of the music I have heard from him. There is this one song, "Help Me Maintain" that spoke life to me. I sat in my room, trying to figure out how can I take the peace I felt that moment with me everyday. My faith had waxed and waned since my dad died, and I think I am finally reconciling my feelings with God. I realized that it was important that I just take time out each day to be grateful and to reflect on His word...which I have shied away from doing over the last few months. So many things had transpired over the weekend that confirmed my need to draw closer to God in times of anxiety and stress. "Help me Maintain" is now my mantra. If I can't think of anything else to ask God, this will definitely be my plea.


I later took a ride back out to Disney Springs to see what it was like in the daytime, and take better pictures. It was beautiful, but again, the forecast was Hell with a chance of Oven-Roasted. I took a quick boat ride and took in the scene, feeling a little bit of the magic that makes Disney known world wide. I soon headed over to the University of Central Florida. I had not stepped foot on campus since I graduated 12 years ago. Although some of it has changed, a lot remains the same. I managed to find the building I spent nearly ever waking hour of my life in for almost two and a half years. If I wasn't there, I was working one of my part time jobs, or at Barnes And Noble studying into the wee hours. I was not prepared for how emotional I would get when I saw my picture on the Graduate Wall of Fame. To see the classes that had graduated before us, and the many that have graduated after us was amazing! The program has grown so much and it makes me proud to be a Knight (although I am still a GSU Eagle for life!) I met so many awesome people in the program. We were family. Our class was so diverse, and I am happy that I can keep connected with many of them through social media.



Lastly, I headed to my best friend Renea's home for the night. She always gets me rollin'. If she was a Golden Girl, she would be Sophia. Always a snappy comeback. Seeing my Godsons made me smile. They are all legs and one is at least an inch taller than me at 12 years old! Heading back home, I just reflected and continued to thank God; thankful to have a beautiful family that was happy to see me and missed me while I was gone. I recently read a quote, "Conserve your energy for your own self interests. That's not selfish, that's essential". I met people, men and women, who were surprised that my husband "let" me go on a trip on my own. Many things came to my mind when I heard that. I am not a feminist, but I am definitely not one who feels the need to ask my husband for permission to take a trip by myself. He takes trips. I take trips. We take trips. The status of my marriage does not hinge on whether we vacation together. When I returned, I was greeted by smiling faces and to thank my hubby for holding down the house, I treated him and my youngest son to breakfast. Since taking this trip, I feel at least for now I am in a better place as a wife, mother, employee, and person. When I start to lose sight of that, I will whisper to the Heavens, "Lord, Help me maintain". You discover so much about yourself when you spend time with yourself. I think every woman should travel solo at least once a year, if not just to recharge, but to fully discover the person you are. It truly is a beautiful thing.


Also, don't forget to take advantage of all the birthday freebies during your birthday month...so far I have had a free burrito, free ice cream, free cookie, free sub, and free wings. Don't worry, I am not going to eat all of this by myself...I still have goals! lol