7 Pounds, 7 days: What is going through my head?!

Okay, for all intensive purposes, I must warn you that this week's blog may not make a lick of sense. I found it hard to come up with a topic this week. This has been such an interesting week as far as my life is concerned. I finally got some much needed sleep, after suffering from carpal tunnel syndrome since my son's birth. Though having the cortisone shots nearly killed me the 1st night, the subsequent nights have been wonderful. Not one time did I wake up with intense, numbing pain in my hands. I had the priviledge of attending a  relationship seminar hosted by my church, featuring Dr. Emerson Eggerichs. The "Love and Respect" seminar based off of his highly acclaimed book, is really blessing my marriage just by changing my thought process on communication within a marriage.  So, I am feeling pretty empowered right about now because my body and mind have been renewed in different ways. I am having a very positive outlook at this moment.

Somehow, my mind drifted to the movie "Seven Pounds" featuring Will Smith over the weekend. Although the intent of the movie was good, I thought it made absolutely no connection between the title and the actual movie(or did I miss something?). I mean did his organs weigh seven pounds before he gave them away? Did the jellyfish he reminisced about weigh seven pounds? I mean I just didn't get it. And although I know he was grieving over the loss of his wife in the accident, I just didn't understand why he felt the need to kill himself by torturing himself in a bathtub full of ice and jellyfish before his organs were generously given away. Yeah, and it was so romantic that his heart went to his new love!(NOT!!!)  Maybe I am just not that deep. But I digress...

However, the number seven  is a great number. It means completion. God made the world as we know it in seven days. I don't think it was a mistake that this number is referenced several times throughout the bible. Then, I thought about the number "10". It means perfection. Think of the phrases,  "A perferct ten", "I give it a score of 10 out of 10", and so on. Just now while writing this, I thought "Wow, I am not perfect, but I am complete". In the midst of my journey to a healthier me, I realized God has made me completely capable, completely confident, completely beautiful in his image and completely disciplined. I am still going to be whole, even if I am not a size 2. I have realized that perfection is in the eye of the beholder. Sometimes what the world perceives as "perfect" (i.e the perfect look, the perfect size, your Halle Berrys, Kim Kardashians, what ever other person society pegs in this category), may not always be complete. I would much rather be a complete person striving for perfection, then a "perfect" person striving for completion. The only being that ever exhibited both perfection and completion to me is Jesus Christ. He was/is flawless and whole. I am a christian, which means "christ-like". I ain't perfect, nor will I ever be. But through Christ's perfection, I am made whole(or complete). I can strive to be like him everyday. In my efforts to be like more like him, I will be blessed. The same concept applies to weight loss for me. In my effort to be a healthier me, I may not always hit the mark. However, working hard will yield positive results.

For those of you who have reached the end of this blog and did not get side tracked by my randomness, I would like you to know that I did lose over 2 lbs this week!

WEIGHT LOSS TO DATE: 31 lbs...Yipee!!!

The Problem Parts

It's funny how when you go to family gatherings, you notice physical resemblances between relatives, even ones that don't really look like you. Somehow, being in a room filled with people from the same genetic pool helps you to discover your identity even more. A few months ago, we were all gathered at my grandmother Louise's home after her funeral. There was so much love in that house, as well as a lot of good food, and laughter. I also noticed that there were a lot of hips! I remember my grandmother speaking to me on several occasions about her younger years. She and her two sisters were well known for their figures. The Wilson Sisters.

Looking around the house, I saw evidence of their reputations still living in their offspring. The women in my family are beautiful: different shades of Black, different personalities, different sizes. However, there a few commonalities among us: we were all blessed with hips, butt and thighs that won't quit. It is quite hilarious to me that the areas I have the hardest time toning are the same areas that made my grandmother and her sisters, on a small scale, famous. Kim Kardashian ain't got nothing on the Wilsons! The past two weeks have been absolutely frustrating, I am the same weight. I found myself looking at my Wilson parts, and sometimes asking "Why won't you just go away?" Well, you can't get rid of genetics, no matter how hard you try. Even the skinniest women in my family are still bootylicious. So why did I foolishly think that these parts of my body would just disappear?

Well, yet again, I am looking over my diet and work out plan. I have decided that I need professional help. Not the psychiatric kind, but I would really like a nutritional consultant and personal trainer. I hope that there are ones that understand the uniqueness of my situation. I want to be able to pay homage to my heritage, keep the girlie parts that make me so special,  but still lose weight in a healthy way. Believe me, I have been to the point that I really want to give up. I am at work, and all week we have all these unhealthy free lunches. My husband still eats whatever he wants. I past by all my favorite food places on the way home. I don't get a lot of sleep, so that is more time for me to be up and hungry. Yet, I am going to push on. I can make it over this hump, I just might not lose the hump in the back!

WEIGHT LOSS TO DATE: Still just 28 lbs...keeping it moving!

Giving God Control, Dreaming Bigger and Gettting Smaller

Well, today church was just awesome! We are starting a new series on relationships called "Mr. and Mrs. Better Half".While most of what pastor Furtick said related to relationships between men and women, there was one phrase he said that I felt related to me and how I see myself. When it comes to what I want for my life I need to "speak to my destiny".  I need to bring my destiny to life by being positive that God will allow a change to manifest because I allow Him the control through being faithful.

I am a control freak, and I get easily stressed by situations that I am not able to control. Like just yesterday, I was in a hurry to leave the hair salon to get to work, and freakishly backed my car into a tree that was in the middle of the parking lot. The impact shattered the glass and mangled the frame of my SUV's back door. Okay, well I could have controlled this situation by watching where I was going. However, the fact that it had already happened was not under my control. All I could do was deal with the consequences and have faith that I would come out of the situation on top.

As the day unfolded, I felt overwhelmed, almost hysterical because of the shear stupidity of the accident. It took a couple of good friends to remind me that maybe this was God's way of telling me to slow down. When I am moving at full speed, I have difficulty seeing what it is that God is trying to do in my life. This pertains to just about everything: my marriage, my friendships, my job, my finances, my child. Although in all natural circumstances, I am able to control my weight, a huge part of keeping my weight in check is surrendering to the will of God. I was not able to do this whole heartedly throughout my life.  God wants me to be healthy, strong and productive. The best way to serve God most effectively is feeling your best first!

So, I am fully committed to dreaming bigger, speaking life, in order to get smaller. This weekend has taught me that I need to slow down and focus on the big picture. I dream of one day being able to look at myself and completely love what God has created. I am not saying that you have to be smaller in order to love your self, but in my situation I feel that I have to love myself in order to reach my goal of being smaller.


THIS WEEK'S WEIGHT LOSS: 1 lb...not much, but it is still a loss! Total of 28 lbs!

Finally, I made it to my first short term goal!

I am pretty sure no one noticed, but I purposely skipped last week's blog because I felt like such a failure. For two weeks I was stuck at the same darn weight! And I didn't know why. I felt completely uninspired, so I had to allow myself a little pity party...but only for  moment. After I dusted myself off, I combed through my diet and workout routine with a fine tooth comb. Had I taken in a few of those "bad" carbs? Yes, I did! I have determined that my body just can't handle certain enriched pastas. Had I started my free weight program? No, I didn't because I was too much of a coward to get out there on the mat in the gym. Sure, I know nobody is concerned about what I am doing, but I can't help but feel a little self conscience. Thankfully, a good friend of mine gave me a couple of her free weights so now I can do my own program in the comfort of my home.

I am looking at myself in a new light, well at least this week. Trying not to body bash, because God thinks I am beautiful (after all he did make me in his image), my husband thinks I am sexy (well I think that is one of the reasons he married me, I hope not the only reason), so why wasn't I giving my self any credit? Although I was stuck at the same weight, I did notice my body changing in areas that have not changed in years.A few of my pants are a little looser. So something was happening. What did that stupid scale know anyway?

I think I did become a little obsessed with the scale. Instead of just weighing myself once a day, I would do it throughout the day.This has not been such a good idea because our weights vary throughout the day. But, because I am a creature of habit, I need to weigh myself on a daily basis to keep myself in check. It is so easy for me to get off track. Now I am rejoicing, I reached my 1st short term goal weight. I have not seen that number in about 2 yrs, and now I am so ready to get past that number. I am excited because I am learning to do something that I have had difficulty doing for long time: Celebrate me and not sweat the small stuff!

WEIGHT LOSS TO DATE: 27 lbs. I reached my 1st goal!

Milk:It Does A Body Good

   I have never been a big milk drinker. Even as a child, I would only put just enough milk over my cereal to cover it, would only drink it if it was mixed with something (i.e icecream, chocolate syrup), or if I needed it for cooking purposes. I remember as a grad student at the University of Central Florida, I had this crazy roommate, who I would call obsessed with milk (T, if by chance you are reading this, you know I love you girl!). Most of us in the apartment could use a half gallon of milk in 1 week, maybe a week in a half. I swear T would drink like a gallon a day. She even had these pajamas with cows on it and the little footies. Can you imagine a grown female with a one piece red pajama suit covered with cows and footies? It was hilarious, but she was unashamed about her milk obsession.

   Recently, I have been drinking these carnation instant breakfast powders in the mornings, which you have to mix with a glass of milk. Ideally for the extremely health conscience person, fat free skim milk is the milk of choice. But, I have not reached that point yet, and I have settled for 2% lactose free milk to prevent stomach upset. However, this last week, I was unable to get to the store after I ran out of my milk. So for breakfast I would eat some fruit and nutella and a bottle of water. But this week, I noticed that I gained weight. Well, you can imagine my frustration. Not only did I gain weight, but I was further away from my goal. I hadn't changed my workout routine, and  I pretty much ate the same type of meals with the same frequency. But I put on 3 pounds!

   Looking  back over the week, I realized that I had not had my daily glass of milk. I have read various articles that suggest one glass of milk daily, regardless of the fat content, can aid in weight loss. Now even though I have heard of this before, I never considered it because at that point in my life I was not actively trying to lose weight. After an intense workout at the gym on Friday, I went to the store and got my milk. Now, I don't know if it was the workout, or the fact that I was able to drink my milk the next morning before work, but I am back on the losing side. So, maybe my dear friend T was onto something. Though you may not see me leaping for joy in a cow jumpsuit, I think I may be a new fan of milk. There are so many healthy ways to make it enjoyable for me, that I am able to make it a regular part of my diet, and hopefully lose some weight!

WEIGHT LOSS TO DATE: Well, tune in next week. I think I may reach my goal!

Mixing It Up

Although I did lose a few pounds this week, it was tough. I worked out hard as usual, ate as well as I have been eating, but would step on the scale and did not get the results I felt I should get. I am still one pound short of my first short term goal, which I should have met this week. One pertinent element of my fitness routine that I did notice was that I am not doing a variety of activities to keep my interest in exercise. This is my typical routine at the gym: I get on the stair climber, then alternate running and walking on the treadmill, the elliptical, and then the weight machines. I try to time each workout so that it is a little over an hour, because I don't think I could stand much more than that.

Looking back, I remember being in grad school in Orlando and I would frequent a local park to try to teach myself how to rollerblade. Now, I could hardly skate on 4 wheels, and I was trying to skate on 3. It was quite hilarious! I would only skate during the non-populated hours and warn the people who were experts at rollerblading to quickly skate around me because I didn't know how to stop without veering into the grass. I even fell into the mud one time. As terrible as I was at rollerblading, I really enjoyed it. Now, I feel the need to be a bit more responsible because I have a family. I can't risk breaking a leg trying to be adventurous.

However, I  do feel the need to be a little more open to other methods of exercise. I really have not indulged in any exercise DVDs, I hear that P90X is great! Heck, I even thought about pole dancing (don't judge me! :P). I am open to Zumba and ballroom dancing, and it is a goal of mine to take swimming lessons. You see, I am in this thing for the long haul. I don't want to be bored trying to stay healthy. I would venture to say that monotony is one of the primary reasons people fall off the healthy train. My first step to changing up my routine is to buy some free weights. Yes, they have them at the gym, but I am a little too shy to sit in the middle of the gym doing odd exercises in front of everybody(it took me months to build up the courage to work out on the weight machines because I was so self-conscience).

I plan on adding something new to my regimen at least once a month. I welcome any other safe suggestions to modifying my daily workout routine. And please, continue to pray for me while I am on my journey.

WEIGHT LOSS AFTER 9 WEEKS: 25 pounds! 1 pound away from my first short term goal!

Discovering My Inner Chef

Growing up, I didn't really have a desire to learn how to cook as a child. It could have been because I was raised by my single mom for the most part, and she really did not have the time to teach me how to cook while she was trying to be the best mom she could be, work full time and go to school part time. I only got to see my dad(who is a pretty good cook), on weekends. While the food he cooked was great, half the time, I didn't know what it was(he tends to get pretty creative). There was always some kind of variation to traditional spaghetti or pot roast, so it got kinda hard to follow.

Becoming more nutritionally aware has allowed me to discover that while I don't always have the time to cook, I actually like to cook. There are foods out there that can be prepared in 30 minutes or less, which are healthy and delicious. I was never a really a big meat eater, because I didn't know how many ways you could creatively prepare meat. I began to research different recipes and discover ways I could spice up my bland meat life. One food that has always been consistent in my life was fish, so I have even discovered ways to make fish even more enjoyable.  Even veggies can be made differently than what I only knew. I discovered that the key to enjoying healthier meals is seasoning (my favorite poultry seasoning is Bet's Seasoning located at Harris Teeter, in case you wanted to know :))

So, on this journey, I have been cooking at least 3 times a week. I usually try to prepare the meal the night before. I look forward to eating that meal all day, and when I get home all I have to do is nuke it the microwave. I am actually saving money too, go figure! I am cooking right now as I am typing this blog, got my ribs in the crock pot getting all good and tender for me!lol

Please, feel free to share any quick, healthy recipes that will help me and others along this journey to a healthier lifestyle.

WEIGHT LOSS TO DATE AFTER 8 WEEKS: 23 lbs...I am 3 lbs away from my first short term goal!