Moving Out of the Comfort Zone

Before I get really deep into this week's blog, I want to give credit to a former classmate who started this conversation on facebook about moving out of your comfort zone in order to get what you want out of life. I had been thinking about this topic for a while. After all, this whole journey has really been about me moving out of a detrimental comfort zone I had been in for a while now. So, Sed Ehi, this blog is for you(and also for CJ,one of my wonderful followers, I read your blog,too).

Thinking back, I have always had to force myself or be forced to move out of a place that was comfortable for me. If there is any truth to zodiac signs, I am definitely a true Cancer. I like to retreat into my shell if I feel out of my element. If you challenge me, I am bound to either close myself up, or get really moody for reasons you could not possibly (or even want to understand). As a child, I was very shy. Unlike my gregarious parents and sister, it was very hard for me to make friends. When I did make a friend, you were my friend for life (or at least for a very long time). So as you can imagine, my circle was(and still is in some ways) very small. I had a wonderful teacher, Ms. Dobbs, who did manage to draw me out of my shell by introducing me to public speaking. I could speak (and later on, sing) very well in front of large crowds. Yet, when it came to one on one encounters, I was very uncomfortable. I even had to train myself to look people in the eyes when I speak to them. Even now, if I feel awkward, it is still hard for me to project my voice and look a person in the eyes. This part of my life is still a work in progress.

Quite often I have tried to purposely put myself in uncomfortable situations to help me overcome my fears. I alway picked some of the more challenging teachers in high school and college. I dated (and eventually married) a man who is soooo not like me, which has been a beautiful journey in itself. Something else funny about zodiac signs: my husband is a Leo, which supposedly the characteristics are completely opposite of Cancers. How we have made it this far is the by the grace of God,lol. So HE really does have a sense of humor! I moved away from the city and people I know in order to start a life on my own. It's been six years and I haven't had to move back home, knock on wood! Currently, I am moving away from the comforts that food has brought me, and towards the comforts of having a wonderful quality of life. Of course, food is apart of the process but food doesn't fuel the process. I am learning to seek satisfaction in other things. I am finding that these other "things" give me great joy, a joy that food could not give me. I am learning to run(I really hated running, but I am starting to grow fond of it after completing my first 5K). I am reading books I would have never thought about reading, and they are opening my mind. I went over seas for the first time, which terrified me. I have found "a peace that transcends all understanding" (this isn't my quote, see 1 Philipians 4:6-7). I am becoming more comfortable moving out of my comfort zone.

Recently, a friend and I went to a wonderful concert featuring one of my favorite singers, Ledisi (if you don't know about her, you really need to check her out). While she was giving a bit of her testimony she said, "There's a door called fear, but if you open it behind it a blessing is waiting on the other side". Even though I have forced myself into uncomfortable situations, I have never fully had faith that the outcomes would be favorable. I would cry, worry, and fret over whether I made a huge mistake. The bulk of my 30 year existence was spent fearing the unknown instead of embracing it and going with the flow. Life is all about transitions. Some transitions are wonderful. Some transitions will tear you down into nothing. Yet, the wonderful aspect about being in transition is that you are always moving. The real questions are: Will you chose to move forward into the great, magnificent unknown? Or will you chose to move in a circle, where things will most likely remain stagnant and unremarkable?

I challenge everyone to move forward with me!


WEIGHT LOSS TO DATE: 58 pounds! I've got 17 more to go!

Running The Race

I did it!. I participated in the Hopebuilders 5K for Levine Children Hospital in Charlotte yesterday with a group of co-workers and some of their families. It was my goal to run the entire race without stopping, and I was able to do it in 38 minutes, which is my best time for running over 3 miles. I was a little nervous the night before, because 1. I didn't want to make a fool of myself. I had told everyone that I was going to run the entire time. If I didn't, I would have been very embarrassed. 2. I ran 3.5 miles the night before with BGR (Black Girls Run), I was fairly tired and so sore. So the night before, I packed my Race Recovery Kit which included a bottle of water, a towel, some pain reliever, and peanut butter and cheese crackers. I woke up at 5:30 the next morning, ate my healthy multigrain slice of bread with nutella and banana spread on top, put on my race t-shirt, packed my headphones for my Pandora app on my phone, and headed out the door. I wasn't sure if I was completely ready, but I went to the race on a mission. I was determined not to fail.

A little after 8 am, the whole group, which made up several hundred people, took off. I had trained myself to pace myself, keep my arms close to the sides, and to pay close attention to my breathing. About half a mile in, I stopped only to tie my shoe. At about 2 miles in, I began to get delirious. The path was fairly simple, through a beautiful neighborhood in the Dilworth area. It was a gorgeous morning but cool. There were some slight inclines that just about killed me, but I kept going. I remember the first song that got me pumped was Martha Munizzi's "Glorious". Some people might have thought I was crazy singing this song out loud, but the beat got me going just a little further. As I was nearing the 3rd mile, I slowed down a bit because I noticed my other shoe became untied and I seriously was not about to stop to tie it. I was so friggin close to finishing. Thank God for Israel's "I am a Friend of God" because at that moment I needed to know God was my friend and he was going to help me make it to the end of this race. I got to the finish line and I saw some of my co-workers cheering me on. I looked up at the clock and it said 38 min and some seconds which I really didn't pay attention to. I just knew I finished!

True to my emotional self, I broke down in tears. One of my co-worker's husband probably thought I had lost my mind. I knew he didn't know about the journey It took to get to this point. He didn't know that 2 months ago I could not run a mile. Nine months ago, I was well over 200 pounds. Nine months ago, I was also crying like a baby because I so desperately wanted to change from the inside out. So all of these emotions just poured out of me because at that moment, I reached a huge goal. I really didn't care about how silly I looked, because I was able to achieve what I set out to do. Later on, I went to church which was the perfect end to my day. It is always good to hear an encouraging word. Today, I spent most of the day in bed recovering, which is what I deserved to do....

WEIGHT LOSS TO DATE: This week was a big shocker, I lost 6 pounds guys! I am 19 pounds from my goal!

Who Run The World? GIRLS!

Next week, I am going to attempt, no I am going to run my first 5K. Now, I have really been trying to push myself to get a run in at least three times a week in addition to my regular strength training. My personal life and work schedule make it difficult to be committed to running everyday. I acquired this 5K Training Schedule, which I have been able to follow roughly the past 8 weeks, and by this week, I should be up to 3 miles (currently I am at 2.5), and theoretically should be able to run the full 3.2 miles by next Saturday. Now let me let you all in on a little secret: I don't really like to run. From the moment I start until the time I finish, all I can think about is finishing. The only thing that keeps me going is the Pandora line up of one of my favorite worship leaders, Israel Houghton, and a lot of prayer. There have been times when I just broke down and cried after running, because it takes everything I have to get to the finish line.

Well, now I am even more encouraged. Recently, a fellow facebook friend turned me on to a movement called Black Girls Run. There are literally groups of black girls running regularly all over the country, and participate in various runs as a group. I was fortunate to find a group here in Charlotte. The skeptic in me said, "Really, there are black girls all over the country running? Get the heck out of here!". I mean, I love my sisters, but honestly, I have never seen a whole group of girls who look just like me, running. It has been assumed by society that in a lot of African American communities "Black women don't like to exercise because they don't want to sweat, or get their hair messed up". And while this may be true for some of us(which I have posed the question before, is it really worth losing your quality of life just to look pretty on the surface?), there are actually beautiful women of color out there who are not afraid to get sweaty, not afraid of their hair getting "nappy" all for the sake of good ol' fashioned physical activity. I met women of all different sizes, backgrounds, and levels of activity who were committing to being healthy. Running with these ladies helped me to push myself a little bit further. Though I wasn't the fastest, I wasn't the slowest. I was able to run non-stop. I also respect the group's motto, "No woman left behind", so even the one's who were slower were assured of their ability to get to the finish line, and the leader stayed in the middle so we all stayed together.

Even though running is my least favorite thing to do, I know that it is just another challenge that I will conquer. Hopefully I will began to really enjoy running now that I know there are other ladies out there who look like me and are running with purpose. Although I may not be able to make all the runs, my goal is to participate in at least one group run a week, and one organized run every 3 months to keep my skills up. One of my life goals is to be able to run a full marathon by the time I am 40. I might be ahead of schedule....

WEIGHT LOSS TO DATE: Still holding fine at 50 lbs lost. I have loss some inches however! I am still encouraged!