Taken For Granted

This week's blog will not focus on my weight loss, but loss in general. Many of you may be able to attest to the loss of special loved ones. I have experienced many losses over my 30 years which would include the loss of my sister, my grandparents(both sets of maternal and paternal), and cousins who have ended their journeys much too soon. Recently, in fact on Thanksgiving Day, one of my beloved uncles lost a dear woman who he has loved for over 20 years. She was also the mother of their 11 year old child. She was only 38. Her death, as many say, was so sudden. I don't really know the circumstances behind her death. What I do know is a man is without "his woman", a mother is without her daughter, and a daughter is without her mother. While I wasn't extremely close with her, I was close to my uncle. Whenever I would go down to visit, she was always there. She was always there to crack a joke, always supporting her daughter in whatever activity she wanted to pursue, always working hard to fulfill her family's dreams.

So, upon the news of her death, I have had some time to reflect on all of my relationships, especially within my immediate family. Do I take these precious relationships for granted? We always count on this person or that person to always be there, even when our relationship with the person may be rocky. We allow months to go by without calling that person. We let minor disagreements brew into major dramas. We harbor resentments that eat away at our souls, all for the sake of making sure that person feels the hurt we feel. Even in loving relationships, we tend to assume that our husband's will always be there to provide for us. Our mothers will always be on the other end of the phone waiting to give unwanted advice. Our fathers will always be able to bail us out. Yet, when that person is removed from our lives forever, all the things we should have said to honor their existences are left to sadly appear in the form of obituaries and eulogies. These words would have been great to say, had that person still been alive to hear them.

One thing that has remained consistent since my sister died, is that my mother and I never depart ways or end a conversation without saying "I love you". We have always been a lovey-dovey couple of people. Even my husband and friends can attest to this. However, the need to say "I love you" became even stronger after we lost her. If we were to accidentally get off the phone without saying this phrase, we would immediately call each other back. When I have told this to people, they look at me weird. I look right back at them and say, "Well, don't you do the same?" It's not to say that every relationship should mimic ours. I know different relationships have different dynamics. Even in the best of relationships, "I love you" is not often said because it is already assumed that that feeling is mutual. Somehow, I always thought that if that person were to leave this Earth at any moment, what comfort it would bring me to know that I was able to tell him/her "I love you".

I've said all this to say, re-evaluate what and who you feel are important to you everyday. In a way, losing weight has allowed me to re-evaluate my relationships. I want to be here to share a long life with my mate, I want to be around to see my son (and hopefully another child, someday :)) meet all of his milestones in life. I want to be able to do my job, which is very physically demanding, without difficulty due to preventable health issues. I want to show God my ultimate love for Him by taking the best care of the temple he has given me for this little while that I have on Earth. I hope my words did not upset you. In fact you should rejoice! At this very moment, which is fleeting, we have a chance to love onto somebody and mend broken relationships. Don't take this opportunity for granted!


WEIGHT LOSS TO DATE: Well, I think I might have loss one pound. Give me a break, it was Thanksgiving! :) I did run an 8K the entire time, took me 1hr. I get bonus points for that! lol

It's Our Anniversary: A dedication to Jason Porter

I don't talk a lot about my husband,like on facebook, as much as I would like to because I know he would disapprove of it. I don't feel the need to talk about him in that respect all the time. I know the person he is. However, I have been waiting for the appropriate time to express my love and respect for him through my blog. November is a special month for us: Six years ago on November 15, 2005 we were legally married. Four years ago on November 16, 2007 we welcomed our beautiful baby boy,David into the world. Jason, my husband, is a key player in my weight loss journey. And of course, this month is Thanksgiving, the official beginning of the holiday season. I have a lot to be thankful for.

Six years ago this month, my husband and I left work early and headed down to the Charlotte courthouse with his parents, niece and nephew in tow. It was a short, but sweet ceremony, and we were serenaded by his then 1 year old niece's melodious crying in the background. Afterwards, we went back to our small two bedroom apartment and ate pizza as our reception dinner. This doesn't sound very romantic, but I was very happy. We had been together for 6 years at that point, 3 of them spent apart, and we were finally making our relationship official. I really did not care about having an official wedding ceremony, though my mother really felt left out. Eventually, we did have a wedding in August of 2006. It was small, but beautiful. Now when I look back, I am glad we celebrated our union in such a special way. We deserved to have a big party!

Soooo, here we are in 2011. Life for us has not been without it's challenges. Being so different, we have definitely had to compromise on more than one occasion. He's very straight, no chaser. I hate to be confrontational, I can be a little manipulative(terrible ain't I?) and I don't always like the truth revealed to me. He likes the t.v on at night, I don't. Yet, when he says he loves me, when he says I'm beautiful, I know he means it every time. He was the first person of the opposite sex that I could ever really look in the eyes without turning away and feeling insecure. He helps me to realize how blessed I am on a daily basis, when I allow life to get to me and I start to feel sorry for myself. I am a better cynic because of him(okay, that may not be a great thing, but we find humor in absurdity on a regular basis and it's fun to have someone to share this with) He cheers me on while I am exercising, even though he may have a pizza in one hand! lol. When we were going through what we perceive as hard times(i.e during the gas shortage we only had one car with gas, his car without heat in mid fall, and we had to get up before dawn to search for gas, baby in tow)we stuck close together and worked as a team. Before we got married, that kind of situation would have had me in panic mode. Yet, when you have someone to share the load with, life doesn't seem as hard.

Yes, I love him. Besides my parents, he is my biggest cheerleader, but not in the traditional sense. He doesn't allow me to break down and cry when life gets hard. If I do, I can't wallow in my sorrows all day. He gives me the cold, hard, truth. I get a pat on the butt and a kiss. I keep it moving! He always jokes with me, "Maybe you need one of those wool-knitted cap men". When he says that,he implies that I need a man who is more sensitive(for some reason he thinks sensitive men wear wool-knitted caps! LOL) I know God sent him to me for a reason. He is the person sitting on the other side of my see-saw: When I'm down he lifts me up, and vice versa. On those rare and perfect occasions, we balance each other out. We've watched each other grow over the years, and it has been absolutely amazing to see the transformations which have taken place. He is beautiful( and I'm talking chocolate beautiful!), he is talented, he is a great father, and husband. I'm losing my weight for me, but I am also trying to keep up the sexy for my honey. After all, forever is a long time and we've only just begun...I want us to be one of those frisky old couples! I feel like I don't tell him enough, but I love him so much. I am honored to be his wife.

"Loving each other is as easy as breathing.", some random bride on Say Yes To The Dress

WEIGHT LOSS TO DATE: No change in the last two weeks as far as pounds, but I am down 4 dress sizes since I began!