This past week has been particularly hard for me. While I have been whole heartedly committed to my new lifestyle, I have been faced with a lot of temptation this week. My husband, while he undoubtedly supports my choice to live a healthier existence, he is not on this journey with me. So, trips to the grocery store usually consists of me buying delicious healthy items as well as the foods my husband enjoys---hot dogs, pizzas, bologna, cheese, icecream and so on...
While I don't want to force my new way of living on him, it is hard not to get frustrated when I am walking this road by myself. Along with frustration, usually leads to temptation, and the cycle of unhealthy eating begins again. I find myself thinking about food constantly throughout the day. I came home from a meeting and saw 2 boxes of Papa Johns Pizza on the table, all of its cheesy pepperoni goodness. Passing over the macaroni and cheese and stromboli at work has truly been agonizing for me, and not to mention the waffle fries...my God the WAFFLE FRIES!!!
As a means of tackling my temptation, I realized that I had to stock healthy, low calorie, but satisfying snacks within my reach. I am now a big fan of the 100 calorie popcorn bags, tangerines, and veggie straws from Costco. I have come to the non-clinincally diagnosed conclusion that I may have an oral fixation, and I just like to have something in my mouth. Sugar free icebreakers sour are also my friend. They really curb my appetite for some reason. And prayer. I have daily short conversations with my Savior, because the times I feel like I am alone in this journey I know he is always with me. I hope that whatever temptations you may face on a daily basis, you have a confidant to reach out to to reassure you that you are stronger than that "thing" that tries to consume you.
WEIGHT LOSS TO DATE 5 WEEKS DOWN: 14 lbs. Slowly but surely, ya'll
Sunday, February 27, 2011
Friday, February 18, 2011
FOOD IS THE ROOT OF ALL EVIL...NOT REALLY
Continuing with the reading from Lysa Terkeurst's Made to Crave, she describes how Satan can use food (or any other "thing" in our life that we desire in excess) in 3 different ways that can lure us from loving God how we should: 1. through cravings: trying to get our physical desires met outside the will of God 2. lust of eyes: trying to get our material desires met outside the will of God 3. Boasting: trying to get our need for significance met outside the will of God. She took an interesting look at how Satan caused Eve (and ultimately Adam) to disobey God using food as his vehicle.
Wow! This was mind blowing to me...how many times have I been to a restaurant or eatery, and the employees would taunt me by saying "would you like to try our new delectable such and such today, it is only 2.00?". Okay, so the little teenager from the counter is not Satan---I know she is only doing her job. However, I would find myself bargaining with my self "it's only one, I can eat just one and be okay" but the call of that particular food is so enticing that I leave with like a dozen (say Krispy Creme glazed doughnuts, for example). I would find myself doing this particularly if I was having a bad day, and I felt I deserved to indulge a little---only to feel guilty afterwards. Isn't it something how you seem to feel convicted after doing something you know was not beneficial to your well being? Whether you are a Christian or not, we all yield(or dismiss) to a little voice inside of us which tells us when we are in the wrong. And it never fails, I would feel defeated because of the guilt I felt from overindulging.
So, the past 4 weeks since I started my new weight loss program, I have been practicing the art of self restraint. Now, in the past, I have not been very good at this. This time, I have a visual to reflect on...God banishing Adam and Eve from the Garden because they were disobedient, and their decendents would endure hard times to come.It was not the apple that was evil. It was Satan who used food for evil intentions. Food was intended for nourishment, not fulfilment. God wanted to fulfil Adam and Eve with life, and they blew it because they were engulfed in temptation. Everytime I partake of a food that is unhealthy or I eat too much of something, it will eventually lead to a cycle of hardship for me:weight gain, depression, low self esteem. I am choosing to be obedient every step of the way, so I can enjoy the rewards of a healthy weight, high self esteem and contentment with my life.
WEIGHT LOSS TO DATE: 12 POUNDS! Woo Hoo!
Wow! This was mind blowing to me...how many times have I been to a restaurant or eatery, and the employees would taunt me by saying "would you like to try our new delectable such and such today, it is only 2.00?". Okay, so the little teenager from the counter is not Satan---I know she is only doing her job. However, I would find myself bargaining with my self "it's only one, I can eat just one and be okay" but the call of that particular food is so enticing that I leave with like a dozen (say Krispy Creme glazed doughnuts, for example). I would find myself doing this particularly if I was having a bad day, and I felt I deserved to indulge a little---only to feel guilty afterwards. Isn't it something how you seem to feel convicted after doing something you know was not beneficial to your well being? Whether you are a Christian or not, we all yield(or dismiss) to a little voice inside of us which tells us when we are in the wrong. And it never fails, I would feel defeated because of the guilt I felt from overindulging.
So, the past 4 weeks since I started my new weight loss program, I have been practicing the art of self restraint. Now, in the past, I have not been very good at this. This time, I have a visual to reflect on...God banishing Adam and Eve from the Garden because they were disobedient, and their decendents would endure hard times to come.It was not the apple that was evil. It was Satan who used food for evil intentions. Food was intended for nourishment, not fulfilment. God wanted to fulfil Adam and Eve with life, and they blew it because they were engulfed in temptation. Everytime I partake of a food that is unhealthy or I eat too much of something, it will eventually lead to a cycle of hardship for me:weight gain, depression, low self esteem. I am choosing to be obedient every step of the way, so I can enjoy the rewards of a healthy weight, high self esteem and contentment with my life.
WEIGHT LOSS TO DATE: 12 POUNDS! Woo Hoo!
Friday, February 11, 2011
MADE FOR MORE
A few weeks ago, I went to visit my doctor for an annual check up. I normally do not dread going to the doctor, but this time I did, because over the past year and a half, I gained back 60 lbs that I had so diligently lost after I had my son. Needless to say, I had no good excuse as to why I gained the weight back. Sure, I could have said "Well, I just have so much on my plate, you know, wife, mother, full time employee, I just don't have the time to take care of me". But I just did not feel like trying to make any more excuses. I had failed, I failed myself miserably. I jumped back into the cycle of looking to food as a means of comfort, eating was my favorite hobby! My doctor, who is usually pretty mild mannered, looked me right in the face, and said "Sanpri, you need to lose weight!". This I already knew, but it stung when he said it. This statement, along with many others that were to come from people close to me(which you will discover how they have impacted me later) prompted me into action. But this time, I was ready to commit in a big way...
While I was attending one of the weekly small group meetings for church that I co-lead, I revealed to this awesome group of women that my prayer for that week was that I would be able to stick to a weight management plan for the rest of my life. My co-leader gave me a book, Made to Crave: Satisfying Your Deepest Desire with God, Not Food by Lysa Terkeurst, which I am currently reading. In chapter 5 entitled "Made for More" Lysa explains how "we were made for more than excuses and vicious cycles". She connects our ability to stick to a plan to our connection with God. All of the times I have loss and gained weight over the years, I have never made this connection. That phrase "Made for More" struck me, hard. I never realized that this journey that I have been on with my weight was directly related to my relationship with God. I have always loved the Lord, but I never felt like I truly understood his power. That if he has the power to resurrect his son, Jesus, than surely he has the power to help me overcome my life long struggle. I see this as an opportunity for me to draw closer to him, as well as accomplish my goal of losing and keeping off weight.
So, you will get to see chronicles of my triumphs, my failures (though I hope not too many), my vulnerability, my hopes and fears. I pray these entries will be self-medicating in a healthy and positive way. I also hope that I can help others along the way.
While I was attending one of the weekly small group meetings for church that I co-lead, I revealed to this awesome group of women that my prayer for that week was that I would be able to stick to a weight management plan for the rest of my life. My co-leader gave me a book, Made to Crave: Satisfying Your Deepest Desire with God, Not Food by Lysa Terkeurst, which I am currently reading. In chapter 5 entitled "Made for More" Lysa explains how "we were made for more than excuses and vicious cycles". She connects our ability to stick to a plan to our connection with God. All of the times I have loss and gained weight over the years, I have never made this connection. That phrase "Made for More" struck me, hard. I never realized that this journey that I have been on with my weight was directly related to my relationship with God. I have always loved the Lord, but I never felt like I truly understood his power. That if he has the power to resurrect his son, Jesus, than surely he has the power to help me overcome my life long struggle. I see this as an opportunity for me to draw closer to him, as well as accomplish my goal of losing and keeping off weight.
So, you will get to see chronicles of my triumphs, my failures (though I hope not too many), my vulnerability, my hopes and fears. I pray these entries will be self-medicating in a healthy and positive way. I also hope that I can help others along the way.
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