Maintenance: The REAL WORK Begins!

It has been almost a month since I've met my weight loss goal(finally!!!) of 150 pounds. So, I made it! Yaaay! Now, starts the real work: maintenance! Since, I know that one cannot possibly be exactly 150 pounds all the time, I have made it my mission to stay plus or minus 2 lbs of my goal weight. This allows for a little freedom to cheat if I really wanted to, for those "times of the month", and if I am sick. I am very thankful that I am getting good at this running thing, because I really credit running to keeping my weight down; When I look in the mirror, I feel healthy, strong and dare I say it, SEXY! It is good to know that no matter the weight loss, I've still been able to retain my curves, which was of great concern to my husband:). However, maintenance is not easy. It is like walking a tight rope. You want to make sure you don't lean too much to either side, or you just might tip over, and subsequently have to start over. Lord knows I do not want to go down that road again. It definitely helps to be apart of groups with like-minded individuals who are on the same journey as you are. I always welcome fresh ideas to keep me motivated, especially when it comes to food and exercise. I've even considered going vegetarian, but my extreme love for seafood and chicken won't allow me to do so. I do practice the occasional meatless day, which I've realized is not that hard to do and is actually cheap to do as well. I have a strong love for beans, avocado, sweet potato, and now butternut squash. I also cut out sweets a couple of days during the week, though for some reason, this task has not been so easy the last few weeks. I anticipate as the holidays come around, eliminating sweets will be even harder. Co-workers and patients' families will be bringing in all kinds of goodies, sit them smack dab at the nurses' station, and I have to pretend like I don't see them! It is torture, I tell you. Yet, I have proven to myself over and over again that I have the will power to resist, and for the most part I shall. I have found that deprivation is actually more detrimental than just allowing myself the freedom of moderation.

September was a great month! I participated in the first Black Girls Run sponsored 10K race in Atlanta, Georgia, which also benefited the homeless. In case you were wondering, a 10K is 6.2 miles. I finished in record time too(well, my records). My last 10K was in March, and it took me 1:17 to finish. This race only took me 1:05 to complete. Believe me, this last race was a challenge. I was born and raised part of my life in Atlanta, but I never knew it was so hilly! Maybe because I never tried to run them before :). The whole race weekend was fascinating. There were beautiful Black women from all over the country(even a few white women, wearing Black Girls Run t-shirts as a matter of fact, lol) coming together for a great purpose: to show the world we can be healthy too!. The guest speaker for our banquet, Mrs. Ernestine Shepherd, was phenomenal! She is dubbed the world's oldest body builder at the age of 75. However, when you look at her, you don't see old, you see FABULOUS! She was very gracious too, and to think she just started hard core training at the age of 71! The weekend was not overshadowed with any discord or drama, just wonderful ladies having a great time together in the name of health. My beautiful cousin, Shekita, got up early with her two little ones and came out to support me. She was so inspired to see all of us, women who looked like her, out there doing our thing. I think the take home message for me was that no matter what size you are or how old you are, you can always have a new beginning. By taking a step towards a healthier lifestyle, you can change the trajectory of the quality of your life. Below, me and Mrs. Ernestine. I am going to blow this up and put it on my wall. My shero!

Indria(in the picture),one of my roommates during the trip, recently asked me to speak about my journey at her church this month. I am no stranger to public speaking, but I have never really had to speak about myself in front of people. Although I am a little apprehensive, I am embracing this opportunity and I am ecstatic that she felt my experience was worth sharing with her church family. The opportunity couldn't come at a more appropriate time, as I am in the midst of completing a study of my pastor's book, GREATER. One of the central points of the book is to "think big, but start small". I have always wanted the opportunity to live and share a life that others can learn from. Maybe my blog and this speaking engagement are my opportunities. I can't tell you all enough how blessed and grateful I am. Though fear is always trying to creep through the back door of my mind, I keep pushing it back out. I feel like I am rising to the climax of my life story.... And so my next task begins. At the current time, I am training for two half marathons, one in December and one in February. I often joke to my running buddies that all I want is a bumper sticker to put on my car that says "13.1". Seems silly, but it is so symbolic of the significance of my quest for healthy living. Today, I am going to push myself to do 12 miles. We shall see. If you live in the Charlotte area and you see a girl in a hot pink shirt laid out on the side of the road, just keep passing her by. Don't worry, she just finished running 12 miles!

Mission Accomplished!

A while ago I expressed how much I abhorred shopping for clothes prior to beginning my weight loss journey. I hated the time it takes to shop, the big mirrors, and the countless number of outfits I had to try on to make sure they were not too clingy in the wrong places. I've always been a pretty curvy girl and I do like to show my curves, but in a conservative way that is not too mature for my age. I am grateful that during the week I do not have to worry too much about what I am going to wear because I am required to wear black scrubs everyday at work. Nowadays, scrubs are quite trendy and you can find some that compliment your figure without being unprofessional. Yet on the weekends, I try to make an effort to be extra cute for my spouse, because after all, he has to look at me for the rest of our lives. I have got to keep it interesting. As of late, I have lost a good bit of weight and even the clothes I bought a few months ago have gotten baggy on me. It's really not cute when a girl has sagging jeans! After work a couple weeks ago, I trekked over to one of my favorite stores, CATO, in search of some new gear for my upcoming trip to Atlanta. I picked out a couple of pretty dresses, a nice shirt, and my most dredded but necessary piece of clothing: JEANS!!!. When losing weight, the size of a pair of jeans is the deciding factor on whether you've really made progress, at least in my opinion. As I thumbed through the rack, my fingers brushed across a size 8. I haven't worn a size 8 since freshman year of high school. I thought to myself, "Should I even dare?...Why not?" So I took my selected clothing back to my dressing cubicle. I slowly pulled one pantleg over my thigh, trying to contain my excitement. When the other pantleg went over and I managed to button the jeans, you can just imagine how overjoyed I was! I didn't have to suck anything in. I didn't have any unflattering gaps in the waist. I was actually comfortable. I began to do the happy dance and squealed like a little girl! I am sure the lady in the dressing room beside me thought I was nuts. I didn't care... she didn't know the sacrifices I had to make to get to this sweet moment in my life. A couple of months ago I had hit this wall where my weight would not pass the 158 lb mark. I was at a loss as to what I needed to do to get pass this wall, and I had allowed myself get too comfortable in my routine. The past couple of weeks I have been participating in these fitness and nutrition challenges(via my sisters from Black Girls Run) that I am certain helped me to knock over the wall and ultimately reach my goal. For instance, one week I had to eliminate sweets and cheese from my diet, which just about killed your girl! However, cutting these foods out helped me to become more disciplined and creative with my meals. I also had to do like a million push ups, sit ups, jumping jacks, and lounges, in addition to my runs in one week. I get exhausted just thinking about it! I held myself accountable, sometimes getting up 30 minutes before I actually wake up to get ready for work to get the exercises in. Yes, it may sound crazy, but when you really want something, you do what you have to in order to get it. As long as I was losing weight the right way, with hard work, I was satisfied. I pushed the envelope hard, and it paid off! I feel great! I met my goal, weighing in this morning at 150.4 lbs prior to my 10 mile run (at the end of th run I was 147.8, but I attribute that to water loss, still crazy to see that number) WEIGHT LOSS: It has taken me 1 year and 7 months to reach my goal. From 226 to 150, a total of 76 lbs loss, or a 7 year old. I ask of you all to continue to pray for me, because the hard part is just now beginning: maintenance! Please pray that I continue to be disciplined and stay on the right path. Everyday, I have to make conscience decisions to stay on top of my health, and it isn't easy. But I have adapted and I am grateful!

Accountability: A Driving Force Along My Journey

Accountability. I have been hearing this word thrown around a lot lately. If I were to break the word down into a working definition for my life, I would define it as having someone else hold you responsible for your abilities. Even my 4 year old is held accountable for his behavior at school; he has the ability to act like he has some home training, and I hold him responsible for his actions at school. Humans are very capable creatures full of unleashed potential. Sometimes, we just need someone on the sidelines to be a cheerleader of sorts to help us uncover the talents we keep hidden. When I first started this weight loss journey, I was doing it on my own. Statistics show that most people drop out of workout programs within the first few months(3-6). I can't even lie, in the past, I have been one of those people. I remember a few months before I became serious about weight loss, I had prayed that God would send me someone I could count on as a friend. I wanted to meet women that held similar interests (i.e exercising) and I enjoyed being around. I have very good friends out of state,sisters that have been in my life since high school. Yet in the almost 6 years I had been in the Charlotte area at the time, I had not had the opportunity to develop close relationships with people. This is especially hard to do when you have a family and full-time career. I had gotten lonely in a sense. While my husband and I spend quite a bit of time together, he is no substitute for a good girlfriend. Although he is estatic about my weight loss and interest in running, knowing that I PR'd a run by 2 minutes does not tickle his fancy, lol. Now that I have worked in the same location for three and a half years, I have met women I consider to be my friends at work. Also, about nine months into my weight loss journey(hey, I overcame the statistic), I found out about the group Black Girls Run. I have discussed this group in previous posts. Had I not met them, I would not be a Black girl running! Heck, I was barely a Black girl walking! These ladies hold me accountable. In fact, they encourage having an AP (accountability partner) to keep you going when you just want to stop. Even when I am not able to attend weekly group runs, internet social networking helps me to keep in touch with these awesome ladies; they keep me motivated to continue to make healthy choices. The comraderie is amazing, even though I have never met many of the ladies face to face. Yesterday, we had BGR Charlotte's first Anniversary run and picnic. I heard that about 70 ladies were in attendence for the 630 am run. Women from all walks of life were holding each other accountable, cheering each other on at the finish line. I didn't attend this group run, though I had gotten up to run super early at 5am with my AP. However, I had heard from another running buddy that people were asking about my whereabouts, and it felt really good to be missed. Oh, I could go on and on about how God answered my prayers when I met these ladies. I try not to use the word "friend" too loosely, but I know that continuing to interact with these ladies will put me on the right path to discovering true friendships locally. For now, I am just really content to have a common interest to share with other women. WEIGHT LOSS TO DATE: I lost 2 lbs in July. I am at 155...only 5 more lbs to go. I am actually smaller than I was my senior year of high school!

Yesterday, I cried...Today, I'm keeping it moving!

Yesterday, I cried. Frankly speaking, I'm a cryer and I've always been since I was a little girl. Of course, now I have it a bit more under control. Before, I cried because I didn't really know how to express myself without feeling self-conscience; There were times I really felt irrelevant and inadequate. I felt very sad, alot more than I should have. Now, I wouldn't just bust out with a boo-hoo cry in the middle of science class or while treating a patient. A lot of times I would cry silently to myself, primarily out of frustration over various things in life. Some people (including my husband) would dub me overly emotional. Although I have learned to tame some of my emotion, a lot of times it is written all over my face, even when I'm trying to appear happy on the outside. Overtime, I have matured in the art of silent crying. I've also come to realize that after I cry, I feel extremely relieved, like the biggest boulder was lifted off of my back. It has been a particularly rough week. I normally start my mornings listening to my two favorite talk shows on the way to work (The Tom Joyner Morning Show and the Yolanda Adams Morning Show). Then, the last ten minutes before I pull into the parking deck I turn the music off, pray a short prayer and read a bible verse to start my day. I've always believed that if you give God your attention first thing in the morning, it can drastically change the trajectory of your day. This holds true even if you've just yelled at your 4 and a half year old for not putting his clothes on in a timely manner, and you are not feeling particularly holy at that point in time. Well, on this certain weekday, I had had it! I was tired, stressed over some pressing issues, and just feeling completely drained. I don't remember the exact time the waterworks started. I just remember listening to a new favorite gospel song of mine, and tears just started to roll down my face. They would not stop falling for a long time. I couldn't even gather myself together to pray or read a verse. All I could do is cry out, "God, I know you have something great in store, I know I won't feel like this always." I wasn't expecting my situation to change that instant, but I did feel more at ease. I could walk into work clearly relieved. During my little self therapy session, I thought about how I am sooo blessed. I don't have everything in life, but I have what I need. My family is healthy, and happy, for the most part. I'm employed. At the time I am completing this entry, I currently can run 10 miles without stopping! I'm a freakin' warrior! So what, I have yet to reach my goal weight as fast as I thought I should. I am losing weight the right way, and sustaining the weight loss. A few weeks ago while in New York, I broke through a wall and dropped four pounds. As I reflect on my life, it has always taking me a little longer to break through walls to reach a goal. There is always a force (let's say that force's name is Fear) that tries to hold me back. Yet during those few minutes of tears and total submission, I released Fear. You can call me a crybaby if you want to, but we all have our life-coping strategies that help us to stay afloat. Considering some of the other alternatives (drugs, sex, food, and alcohol), I think crying is probably the safest way to go. If I'm not able to pound out my stress on the pavement, then I have no other choice than to cry out. And I'm not ashamed to admit it anymore. Yesterday, I cried. Today, I'm keeping it moving... WEIGHT LOSS TO DATE: 2 lbs since last post. 157, 7 more pounds to go!

Navigating My Way: Goal Reaching and New York Adventures

Wow! I haven't posted in a while. Not to worry. My momentum hasn't stopped, at least as far as my activity goes. Yet again, I was unmotivated to write because I had reached a standstill. My weight loss had come to a never ending wave of uncertainty;One day I would lose a pound, the next I would gain two. I'll be the first to admit that on occasion, I may have had a few indulgences, but nothing I didn't feel couldn't be worked off with exercise. Prior to my recent trip to New York, I had even made a vow to start taking lunch to work everyday. This decision was made to not only to control my portions, but to save money. When I realized that my paycheck was 200.00 smaller from just conveniently scanning my badge at the lunchroom register, I had to do some damage control. I once watched a "The Biggest Loser" episode when financial guru Suze Orman was on there. I found it interesting that she discovered that a lot of people who are overweight have financial problems as well. Although I don't consider myself to be extremely overweight anymore or in tons of debt, I could see the correlation. When you have an attachment to food, you may have a tendency to make financial decisions that nurture that attachment. My mindless scanning (even though I was getting what I perceived to be healthy meals)would eventually lead me back to where I started. I don't want that. Losing weight is about being in control and constant self awareness. By committing to making my own breakfast and lunch, I stay in control of both my spending and eating. So, I thought my weight loss rut would be immediately solved with my new habits, but it wasn't. The scale stayed literally at the same spot for the last two weeks before my trip. Knowing this, I went on vacation without the intent of going on vacation from my healthy lifestyle. I was fortunate that the wonderful hotel we were in had a small gym, so I would get up about 3 out of the 5 days we were there at the crack of dawn and work out at least thirty minutes. I would then have a light breakfast. My mom and I would then start our daily venture out into the great burroughs of New York. We walked several miles daily, including navigating the rugged subway. It's funny that even though we were dog tired, we would find some excuse to keep going: a hair or clothing store (my mama's vices,lol), somebody doing something very odd(an everyday occurrence), a carribbean restaurant(my vice). I loved every minute of it! We didn't even have to do the traditional touristy stuff like tour the Empire State Building or Statue of Liberty. Although I hope to go back and do those things, I really enjoyed walking. Being apart of that massive community called New York for that short period of time was exhilarating!.

Me in Harlem in front of a cool mural. Representing with my BGR tee!

Me in front of the Brooklyn Museum. Great neighborhood! Reminds of the Cosby Show.

Superwings! I stumbled upon this gem of Caribbean delight! I saw it on Food Network once. Now, I will digress a bit and make note of a few interesting observations. 1. You must own some type of electronic listening device to navigate the subway if you're a native. I think this helps relieve the stress of the everyday hustle and bustle. 2. Walk at your own risk! Contrary to public belief, pedestrians do not have the right of way in New York City(even if the sign says you do, don't believe the hype, lol). My mom and I were almost street pizza several times! 3. There is a very fine line between trendy and tacky. I saw some great trends, and some hot messes. I don't think I fit into either category, but leading to number 4. In New York, you are free to do you! It doesn't matter what you have on, you are looked at as an individual, and frankly, I don't think anybody cares! 5. People are much nicer than they appear. Just because New Yorkers don't smile and greet you all the time, they are very personable. Everyone was very kind when we approached them.6.The sun rises earlier up north, like at 5am! I was pleasantly awakened by the sun each day. Luckily, we would go to bed pretty early so I got a full 8 hours sleep, even staying in the middle of Brooklyn, near a subway! With all that being said, I loved New York. I was initially a little down when I first got there. I was very intimidated by the atmosphere and thought I would give in to temptation, eating everything in my path. Yet, I had a plan, and I stuck to it. I only took out so much money a day to spend on clothes and food, and opted for places with a variety of fresh food(I did indulge in some specialty cupcakes, but only half a piece for me, please!) We literally walked about twenty miles, including the 1.5 miles of Brooklyn Bridge I ran the second day I was there.I also got to have a great time with my favorite girl in the world, my mom! WEIGHT LOSS TODAY: I am down 67 lbs since last January. I am finally in the 150s, 8 more lbs to my goal!

1hr 17 minutes 51 seconds of Victory!

Some of you that keep up with my blog may have noticed that they are getting to be few and far between. The reason for this is, well, I am approaching my goal weight. As slow as it has been going these last few months, I didn't want to bombard people with the mundane aspects of this journey. Also fewer blogs make my life seem a bit more interesting than it really is. A lot of events seem to happen by the time I enter a new blog at the end of the month.

Something very traumatic(well at least the most traumatic event that has occured to me outside of people close to me dying)happened to me earlier this month. While playing at a park with my son and my co-worker's son, I fell and hit my right knee hard, which also involved me dislocating my knee cap temporarily. If you're wondering if that is very painful, well it is! It took me a few minutes to actually cry because I was just shocked at what had happened. I was more concerned with the fact that I fell in front of a butt load of people, which was very embarrassing.I'm pretty sure my underwear were showing while I lay in a fetal position. My little boy was sooo concerned and I had to reassure him that I was okay, and try to drive us safely home, with my right leg. I've had problems with my knee before, but never while in motion because I was running fast down a hill this time.

Now, for the average person with an average 9 to 5 desk job, this event would be inconvenient. However, modifcations can be made to allow you to work in your setting. In the event that one with such type job should break a bone, that person would probably have to make a few adjustments (i.e get a wheelchair or crutches to get around the office). However, I am a physical therapist. The majority of my job is standing and walking, and helping other people to stand and walk. Not being able to perform my job has always been a scary thought for me. I need to work to help support my family. The moment I fell, the first thing I thought about was, "I won't be able to work". The second thing I thought of was, "I won't be able to run". As many of you know, I have developed a knack for running. In fact, a couple of days prior to my fall, I had logged my best running time with a new running buddy from church: 4 miles in 40 minutes. I'm no speed demon, but coming down from a 11 minute mile to a 10 minute mile is a big accomplishment for me. I have been training for the nationwide 10K race in Charleston on March 31st, and was trying to hit 6 miles in under an hour. The race was over a bridge, with the first part of it consisting of a steep incline.

Needless to say, because of my injury, I had to be out of work for 3 days per the MD. I am extremely grateful for plenty of personal time accrued. I didn't really allow myself to rest because I had set a personal goal. The first couple of days I went hobbling to the gym, forcing myself to do every conceivable exercise that didn't cause me extreme pain, followed by a ritual of icing, elevation and Aleve. By the time I did go back to work, I was still limping, but I was walking. An orthotist I work with was able to provide me with a supportive brace and I also taped my leg when at home. I was sooo excited that after 2 weeks of not being able to run, I was able to go out this past week with my running group and log 2.5 miles of run time out of 4.5 total. I probably could have run the whole time, but didn't want to push it because it was my first time back out on the pavement.

Well, this weekend was the big race. I was soooo excited! Not only did I get to meet fabulous women from the southeast who take part in Black Girls Run, but I accomplished what I didn't think I would be able to do a few weeks ago because of my injury. I didn't know I had that much determination. I was even in a minor car accident the night before in Charleston while leaving the Black Girls Run Meet and Greet. Yet, that didn't stop me, I just showed the Devil that I came to win this race (at least in my mind) whether I was first or last, and I did it! My official run time was 1 hr 17 minutes and 51 second, BOOYAH! lol. The whole event was spiritual, inspirational, and tiring! I saw a lady who was blind pass me. They had wheelchair racers, I mean this thing was big. The last mile of the race, I really wanted to stop and walk, but there was this gentleman (I wish I would have gotten his name or picture) and he told me, "You've been keeping me going, we are going to finish this thing together", and we ran across that line, together. When I finished, I waited for many of my sisters from Black Girls Run to finish, because we believe in "No woman left behind". So many women who normally would have been in the higher ranked corrals, fell back to encourge those who were running there first big race, which was just phenomenal!

While I haven't really lost weight (well, except for the 4 lbs of water during the race), I looked back at some of the pics I took this weekend, and I look darn good! I am sooo proud of myself for pushing through, and I thank the many of you who ecouraged me during this time.

WEIGHT LOST TO DATE: 66 lbs. Don't worry, I think I put some of that back on with my victory lunch! :)

Transformations

If any of you hadn't noticed by now, I've changed my hair color! Yes, me, Mrs. Conservative, now has red highlights! I'm 30 years old. I've never done anything too drastic to my hair besides cut it short, and the only color I've had was a semipermanent black to make my hair shinier. You may ask what does coloring my hair have to do with losing weight? I guess you could say that I felt the need to go through a total transformation. You'd be suprised how a simple thing such as changing your hair color can boost your confidence. Even though I've lost a lot of weight, I still at times find myself walking around like I'm carrying a ton. It's hard to describe, but it is as if you are walking around in another person's body and you don't know how to handle it. Your mentality doesn't match your physique.

I've spent so many years trying to fake being confident, I really didn't know how to walk in confidence. You can buy spanx to hide your rolls and cellulite, but there is no hiding a permanant haircolor. It's funny, when I first got my hair colored I really liked it, my husband LOVED it! However, a couple of days later as I was getting ready to go to work, I started freaking out. I was styling my hair, and I just broke down crying. I woke my husband up repeatedly asking him, "Do I look okay? You don't think I look silly?". His response, which is so classic of him was, "You know I would tell you if you looked ridiculous", which he really would. When I got to work, I prayed that God would give me the confidence to walk as bold as my new hair color. I mean, you can't walk in a room holding your head down and you're rocking a color like red! So, I walked to the hospital floor, and everyone that hadn't seen my pic on facebook was indeed shocked but very complimentary. Well, if they didn't like it, would they really tell me anyway? So all I could do was trust that I made the right choice to color my hair. I really didn't plan on it turning out that color. I wanted kind of subtle light brown highlights. But, I'm glad it turned out this way.I think it was God's way of saying, no matter what the outcome, you are still beautiful in my eyes, and you've got to rock it like you own it,even if it turned out blue! I took a risk (which is opposite of what I normally do), and it worked for me.

This past week, I took it a step further and got contacts. Now, I love my glasses, I think they give me personality. Yet, I also think that I hide behind them. It was easy to hide for one, because I had lost so much weight they were starting to engulf my face. When I put the contacts on, it was a whole new world and I could really see myself. This has been a crazy journey! I really hadn't lost but a pound since my last blog, but I feel absolutely wonderful! Over the past month, I've handle dissappointments with prayer, and the moments I don't feel as confident, I take inventory of all the things I've accomplished over the last year. I'd take each little small risk over again to feel what I feel at this moment...

WEIGHT LOSS TO DATE: 63 lbs. Only 1 lb down, but my arms and legs are getting cut yall! Watch out there now! lol