There was a time when I would walk by a mirror and not even look at it. I felt ashamed of what I would see. Using public restrooms to wash my hands and especially trying on clothes was very frustrating. As other girls would primp in the mirror, I was trying hard to avoid looking my self in the eyes,embarrassed to even look in the mirror's direction. I really don't know when this habit started, but I know it has denied me the right to celebrate myself for a long time.
Well, now I earnestly try to find things about myself that I truly admire everyday, regardless of whether I am having a bad hair day. I force myself to see what God sees, although I think God sees through rose colored glasses sometimes. "What is so beautiful about a short, stout black girl?" I would say to God. And there are times when He would whisper to me, "Well, Sanpri what isn't beautiful about a short, stout, black girl? Or a tall and skinny one for that matter? Who defines beauty to you? And why does your definition trump mine, after all I created you and I think I know what I'm doing" Once I brought myself back to God's reality, then I could appreciate the person, "the me", that He has made.
Today is my birthday! I am 30 years old and 39 lbs lighter since January 2011. I literally loss weight the size of my 3yr old! For the short amount of time I have been celebrating 30, I feel a little bit freer. I don't know what it is about reaching these age milestones, but you just feel like you can let go a little more and give less than a hoot about what other people think about you. This is a great feeling. I don't feel older, I just feel lighter in body, and in my mind. It's time to celebrate this awesome liberty!
WEIGHT LOSS TO DATE: 39 lbs! Thank you Lord for this day!
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