If you are a facebook friend of mine, then you should know by now that I have reached my 50 pound weight loss goal as of today! I am extremely excited and terrified at the same time. It's taken long enough, and I am certainly glad to be at this point. Yet, now I know that the bar has to be raised. I still have 25 more pounds to go to make my "ideal" weight. Doesn't sound like much compared to 50, but many of you may be able to identify how hard it is to lose those last few pounds. I know that temptation is going to come at me hard these next few weeks, especially with the holidays rolling around. Why is it that they are all back to back anyway? Truly a dieter's curse!
It seems like it has taken me an awfully long time to get to this point. I've known a lot of people who have lost the same amount of weight or more in a shorter period of time. I was glad (and maybe a little envious)for them. However, now I know that the course I am taking is the one I need to take. I needed the extra time to discover the stuff that has been holding me back. I needed extra time to reflect on the person that I am, which I have come to find out is a pretty decent person. If I had been able to get to this point quicker, I would have missed out on how therapeutic this journey has been for my spirit, and I probably would have bounced back into old habits because I would not have fully appreciated the process.
I have just got to give my pastor, Steven Furtick of Elevation Church in Charlotte, NC a huge shout out(he may not even read this, but this is a testimony to all of my friends and family). Every week he comes with the word of course, but I don't know how God manages to line Pastor Furtick's word with the situations I am going through at that moment. We have begun a new study series on Hebrews 12. Today his focus was on the first 3 scriptures, but I scrolled down to Hebrews 12:11 which reads, "No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it." I can't wait until we touch on this one. I just want to put it on a t-shirt and sell it! This applies to every area of my life, most specifically to weight loss. If anything takes discipline, it is sticking to a life long weight loss and management plan. Every step of the way has been painful, not just physically, but emotionally.
The other day, I was just having such a strong attack on my spirit. I was being snappy with my son and my husband. I left the house and went to work out. I then stopped by Wal-mart to look for something, but then I saw it...McDonald's! Now, I am not a big fan of McDonald's. But as a parent (and a busy one at that), I find myself frequenting this establishment on the days I don't have time to cook. The kid is happy,and I am relieved(and, just in case you are wondering, I do chose the healthier options for my child). On this fateful night, I really wanted something that was not so healthy. Torn, I walked through the store for about 30 minutes, trying to clear my head and think rationally about the bad decision I was about to make. I did go to McDonald's, but I got a small cup of low fat yogurt, and not the greasy chicken sandwich that I really wanted. A small victory in my eyes!
Pastor Steven hit on 4 points on why people just stop trying based on the scriptures. The last one, "We never realize how close we are to victory", hit me the hardest. I am definitely closer to victory than I was 8 months ago when I was sitting around feeling sorry for myself. My visions for myself: spiritual, mental and physical, are so much clearer now that I have gotten rid of the "weight". I bought a shirt at church today with a lyric from the song we sing which will always remind me of my struggles, but also remind me that there is hope. It reads, "I may be weak, but your spirit's strong in me." The next line goes "My flesh may fail, but my God you never will."
Here's to brand new victories over the flesh everyday!
WEIGHT LOSS TO DATE: 50, yes five-zero baby!
You know, I'm not religious per se, but you inspire me, Sanpri. You are one of my favorite people and deserve the best. That bible verse, about not seeming pleasant at the time, but worth the journey is so true. If we are handed things, it doesn't mean as much. You have done an amazing job. I feel your pain with McDonalds. I find myself as a starving, breastfeeding mom, too often stopping for fast food while I'm running errands because it's easy. In the last 3 weeks since I started my journey I haven't been structured on the exercise, but have second guessed that little voice in my head that says "go to Burger King" "order chicken
ReplyDeleteMcnuggets." Luckily, Sierra doesn't tolerate dairy, so my addiction to McDonald's cheeseburgers had to stop. You are an amazing woman. Keep it up, and even if you don't lose those last pounds, know that you've accomplished so much that most people can't.