I've come to the realization that in order for me to be satisfied with my life in every area, I need to have something to look forward to all the time. I discovered this some years back when I was planning my wedding.Planning was stressful because I am not a very detail oriented person, and I had some problems visualizing what I wanted my wedding to be like. As tedious as the whole planning process was, after the event was over, I felt like I was in "wedding withdrawal". My saturday would no longer be filled with trips to Garden Ridge for decorations, planning the food and guests list. I felt a bit of a void until my next adventure, motherhood , came along. For nine months I planned for this little person that would change my entire life. I imagined what he or she would look like. I even looked forward to the monthly then weekly doctor's appointments. When he finally arrived, I was in awe of his presence. The anticipation was over. I remember feeling a void as my identity shifted from being Sanpri, to Jason's wife, and now David's mother.
As I am embracing a new, healthier me, I have rediscovered that joy I once had looking for the next great thing to happen in my life. This "thing" can even be on a small scale(i.e painting my wall, "what will my picture look like on that freshly painted wall?") For the last few weeks, I have been training to run a charity marathon. Okay, so it's only a 5K. But then I think of how far I have come. I couldn't even walk a mile, and now I can run one. I look forward to everyday that I can work out to attain a new distance or improved time. I haven't felt this great physically in a long time.
The change in my physical appearance has given me a boost mentally as I start to feel more confident about who I am. I actually like to shop for myself now! I am grateful everyday I can wake up and make health-conscience decisions about my diet("pancakes or grapefruit and yogurt?"), my mental health ("I will not let that patient's family get to me today!"), and my physical health ("I think I can do the jump rope twice as fast today!"). At times, I have found my self worrying about what I will have to look forward to once I meet my goal weight. So, I made myself a big promise. Every January that comes around and I am five pounds within my goal weight, I am going to celebrate in a big way!
Everyday is a new challenge, a new beginning, a new journey. Everyday I look back over my mistakes(but don't dwell on them), and look forward to my victories!
WEIGHT LOSS TO DATE: 47 lbs ya'll! 3 lbs from reaching the next short term goal, 28 lbs from my goal weight!
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